found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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