whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
