My first STD was from a foam party
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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