Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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