So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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