Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
