My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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