like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
