I looked at my own cervix.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
