She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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