Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
