i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
