i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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