but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
