I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
