my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
