If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize