Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
