I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
