when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
