wanna go halves on a baby?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
