I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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