I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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