Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
