I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
