my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
