Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
