"it" just moved
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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