Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
