The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
