he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
