I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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