Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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