oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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