If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
