I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize