shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
