i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
