This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
