5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We left the knife in your bed.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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