I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
