She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
