seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
