My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize