What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
