he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
