I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
