hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize