You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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