Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
