I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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