He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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