No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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