We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
