you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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