Betty ford says i'm here all night
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
