Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize