Don't make out with my wife yet
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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