I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
