let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
