I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
