Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Less talking, more tequila
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The air was thick with penises
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
