Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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