i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize